Talk Dirty To Me

Since this is my first post here I figured a good way to get started would be an embarrassing, funny sex story. Enjoy.

I’ve been involved in a number of sexual situations over the years, with many people. Once (yup, just once), I was involved in a long-term, monogamous relationship. Because I can be pretty kinky, and he was inexperienced, we were playing around with some light bondage and just generally exploring things. So one night, I had him tied and was straddling him. Being the sexy domme that I am, I was wielding my flogger and teasing him.

I wiggled my hips a bit, put on my best sultry voice, leaned over and whispered into his ear, “talk dirty to me”.

His response was to think for a second and then say something along the lines of “I’m going to put my penis inside of you”. Okay. Not off to the best start, it seemed a little too clinical for my liking. And he didn’t even put on a sexy voice.

I said “I know that’s what you want to do, but you’re the one cuffed to the bed. What are going to do for me?” Note the syntax. That might have been my problem. I asked what he would do for me instead of to me. His response had me basically rolling off the bed (and him) in laughter. In fact, it ended up being so decidedly un-sexy that I ended up uncuffing him and we just cuddled for a while I giggled a bit.

Even he sounded confused as he said, “I’ll do the dishes for you?”